


Denial

by ElizaStyx



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel Castiel, Castiel sucks at human things, Curiosity, Curious Castiel, Denial, Destiel - Freeform, Experiments, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Hand Jobs, I maybe shall be a little sorry for this, Innocent Castiel, Love Confessions, M/M, Music, Pop - Freeform, Pop music, Sugababes, This is probably how destiel would look like in season 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-15
Updated: 2014-09-15
Packaged: 2018-02-17 12:43:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2310053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElizaStyx/pseuds/ElizaStyx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"What the hell are you doing, Cas?" asked Dean, his eyes wide from shock.<br/>"I'm listening to Sugababes, Dean." Castiel's voice sounded deadly serious.</p><p>In other words: a short story in which Dean regrets telling Cas to try out a little bit of everything to understand the humanity better.<br/>At least at first.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Denial

When Dean opened the door, a loud and somehow cheerful beat greeted him with a great power.  
"What the..." he frowned and entered the motel room.  
In the middle of it he saw Castiel staring at the laptop screen with a thorough concentration written all over his face. The music he was listening to was rhythmic and also somehow delicate with female vocalists singing a text that Dean wasn't familiar with at all.

_Somewhere in the back of my mind_  
 _Secretly I know you will find_  
 _Me amongst the blushing and glow_  
 _Deep beyond the things I don't show_

"What the hell are you doing, Cas?" asked Dean, his eyes wide from shock.  
"I'm listening to Sugababes, Dean." Castiel's voice sounded deadly serious.  
Dean blinked few times. "What?"  
"Sugababes." Castiel repeated patiently, his eyes glued to the computer. "A british pop girl group."

Dean really needed a while to proceed the information.  
"But... why?" he asked still confused after few seconds.  
"You told me to try different things, Dean." Castiel finally turned around to face him. "So I am trying. And I really enjoy this music."

Dean felt a sudden urge to drink something. He pulled out a bottle of whiskey and poured himself a little too much for such an early hour.  
"You do enjoy **that**?" Dean made a gesture towards the laptop, raising his brows and taking a sip.  
"I do." Castiel nodded. "Don't you hear the harmony in the way their voices entwine with each other?"  
Dean thought that he wasn't drunk enough to discuss the matter of musical harmony in Sugababes' songs. 

"Couldn't you start with some classic rock instead?" he asked, starting to feel strangely affected by the bizzareness of this situation.  
"Dean, I've heard a lot of it in your car." Castiel raised his brow. "I wanted something different."  
"That indeed is..." Dean shivered a little. "different."  
Castiel rolled his eyes. "Why don't **you** sometimes give the other kinds of music a try?"  
Dean had no good answer so he just shut his mouth, listening for a while.

 _You were like a power of nature_  
 _Telepathic beautiful creature_  
 _Understanding all of my weakness_  
 _Patient, loving, knowing you'd reach it_  

 _Why  does it always have to be a love song?_ he asked himself somehow longingly.  
"Erm... Dean?" Castiel grunted.  
"Yeah?" Dean was a bit absent-minded.  
"Speaking of trying out some new things..." the angel hesitated. "I would like to kiss you."  
"What?" Dean was brutally thrown back into the real world.  
He looked at Castiel with a mix of shock, fear and anticipation that was surprising him even more and making him blush.  
"I would like to kiss you." Castiel repeated, a bit nervous but totally serious. "For solely scientific purposes, of course."  
"Why me?" Dean was too shocked to think straight.  
"Because I feel attracted to you." Castiel frowned. "If only this website gives a correct definition of this term."

Dean was at a loss of words. He opened and closed his mouth few times and then drunk the rest of his whiskey.  
"Dude..." he finally managed to utter. "I'm..." he bit his tongue, not wishing to say something he would regret later.  
"What, Dean?" Castiel looked at him with those big blue eyes and Dean's thoughts went into a total chaos.  
"Nothing..." Dean shook his head, unable to say that he wasn't attracted to Castiel.

Probably because he totally was.

"Will you kiss me then?" there was a silent plea in Castiel's voice that made Dean inhale with a loud whiz.  
"You sure you want that?" he had a littlest glimpse of hope that this wouldn't have to go this way.

That he wouldn't have to face his feelings.

"Yes, Dean." Castiel was adamant and stupidly cute with his stubbornly frowned forehead.  
"Okay then." Dean gave up.  
He was actually really tired of this mess in his head and thought that maybe this could help him clear up and understand whatever the hell he was feeling for his angel.

Castiel stood up, leaving this song (that Dean was beginning to sincerely hate) on repeat and approached him.  
Dean felt his mouth going dry at the sight of Castiel's slightly confused look, crazy hair and lips pouted with determination. The angel looked straight into his eyes, straight into his soul and Dean groaned silently, grabbing his cheek and closing the gap between them.

At first Castiel froze, unsure what to do with Dean starting out so passionately but then he discovered he actually had some instincts that were eager to guide him through that slightly sloppy kiss they were having right into a more heated exchange. He felt Dean's tongue, trying to slip inside of his mouth so he let it in, examining its texture and taste.  
Dean moaned against Castiel's lips and Castiel felt a bizzare sensation in the lower part of his stomach. He pulled back a little, frowning again.  
Dean was panting and looking at him with an expression of something he couldn't really name.

In this moment Castiel decided to take a look into Dean's thoughts.

Things that he saw made him blush for the first time in his whole long life and he felt the intensity of unfamiliar sensations growing.  
"Dean" he said. "I think my body really wants to have sex with you."  
"Oh God" Dean gasped. "Why do you have to be so damn straightforward about this?"  
"Shouldn't I?" Castiel squinted.  
Dean made an awkward grimace. "A quick question first: do **you** want to do it?"  
"Why would you ask that?" Castiel cocked his head.  
"Because you said your body wanted me..." Dean gulped. "Does your soul want me too?"  
Castiel still wasn't that good at reading people but he understood that it was really important to Dean.  
He really appreciated Dean's beauty and he really only wished Dean to be happy.

Feeling was sometimes so complicated.

"Yes, Dean." Castiel felt a strange warmth in his chest, seeing Dean's expression changing into a softer and more relaxed one.  
"Good." Dean smiled softly and pulled Cas into a lazy tender kiss.  
Castiel enjoyed the closeness of Dean's warm body so he embraced him, holding him as tight as he could. His crotch started rubbing onto Dean's and not only was it tickly and really pleasant but also made his heartbeat quicken and his thoughts cloud with an emotion he recognized as lust.

He really wanted Dean Winchester to show him what was so special about sex.

"I've read a bit about it." he confessed when Dean pulled back to catch a breath.  
"What did you read about?" Dean's voice was husky as he started kissing Castiel's neck and undressing him.  
"Handjobs." he said and then gasped loudly as Dean reached his nipple.  
"So you in to try those?" asked Dean, grinning and licking the sensitive skin.  
"Y-yes..." Castiel was trembling and holding onto Dean's back.  
Dean took his shirt off, pressing kisses on Castiel's chest, neck and chin. Then he reached down to unzip Castiel's and his pants. It was so new for Cas to feel so shaky and driven by want. He looked down at their cocks rubbing onto each other and found it very bizzare and arousing at the same time that they were so similar and yet so different.  
"I'll teach you then." Dean looked into Castiel's eyes and grabbed angel's dick. "Repeat what I'm doing, can you?" he asked, trying to stay calm while his whole body screamed with need.  
Castiel nodded, trying to remember how to breathe with Dean's hand... doing things to him. He hesitantly embraced Dean's erected cock.  
Dean started moving his hand slowly and Castiel did the same, closing his eyes, giving into the sweet caress. He couldn't help moaning silently when Dean started squeezing and twisting, teasing the head. He tried to follow and was rewarded with a loud groan that sent a shiver down his spine. Dean buried his other hand in Castiel's hair and kissed him again without stopping his advances. It was maddening and Castiel started having problems with maintaining any kind of rhythm as Dean was jerking him off faster and faster, wanting him to come soon.  
Finally he gave up totally.

The orgasm was something unbelievable. Castiel could feel the bolt of pleasure piercing right through his whole being, touching the core of what he defined as himself, leaving him shattering into pieces, coming all over Dean's hand and breathing shallowly.

That ecstasy... it was freedom.

The angel was so lost in the new sensations that he didn't notice Dean shivering and making himself come with a few fast strokes.  
He also didn't really notice the moment they fell on the bed together and Dean embraced him to cuddle a little.  
"Did you like it?" Dean's voice was low and warm.  
Castiel pulled back a little to look into those green eyes, coming back to his senses. "Very much. Thank you, Dean." he smiled shyly.  
Dean chuckled silently and kissed him on the forehead.

And then he realised that this stupid song was playing in the background for this whole time.

He huffed suddenly annoyed by such a mood-spoiler and raised on his elbow to take care of it but something stopped him from standing up to turn it off.  
The trio was singing the chorus.

_I didn't wanna fall in love with you_  
 _I didn't wanna know the things I knew_  
 _It wasn't till I looked into the mirror_  
 _Denial_

It hit him so hard that he immediately fell back by Castiel's side and covered his face with his hands. The angel looked at him with a worried frown.  
"Is everything alright, Dean?" he asked, placing his palm on Dean's wrist.  
Dean shook his head, not answering and Castiel felt a sting of fear that he managed to fuck everything up somehow.  
"Dean?" he repeated scared a little.  
Dean's shoulders started shaking and soon Castiel heard that Dean Winchester was actually laughing. Laughing so hard that he had tears in his eyes which Castiel saw once Dean uncovered his face after a while.  
"I'm just a big idiot." Dean muttered, staring at the ceiling.  
"Why are you assuming such a thing?" Castiel squinted, uneasy with Dean diminishing himself.  
"Because this song is about me." Dean finally locked gazes with Castiel, his eyes twinkling with some kind of broken joy. "I was in denial for so long..."  
"Denial?" Castiel had troubles following the trail of Dean's thoughts.  
"Yes." Dean chuckled. "I'm in love with you, Cas, but I was trying to deny it since the day we've met."

Castiel tilted his head and looked at Dean's happy face, his frown slowly disappearing and a smile bending his lips.  
Maybe he still didn't get a lot of human feelings but looking into Dean's eyes in that moment, he suddenly became sure that one day he would be able to finally understand at least the one, most important of them - love.

**Author's Note:**

> All the lyrics come from Sugababes' song "Denial"  
> I didn't mean any offence to the band, I really love Sugababes, their music is my favourite guilty pleasure as I am generally a metalhead :P


End file.
